Things to Do in Windsor

Windsor Castle State Apartments

Inside the castle you'll shuffle across hushed oak floors that creak like ship timbers while looking at doll-house armour and Van Dyck portraits that still smell of old varnish. The changing-of-the-guard march echoes off the Lower Ward walls, brass buttons flashing in weak English sun while a band crunches through Abba covers.

Eton High Street wander

Cross the footbridge and you're in a narrower world: chalk-dusty bookshops, boys in tailcoats carrying violin cases, the yeasty waft from a 400-year-old bakery. Peer through college doorways to see quadrangles where grass is clipped by roller and clocks toll the quarter in baritone bronze.

Thames kayak from Windsor Bridge

Paddle upstream and the castle keeps re-appearing above willow branches, moorhens darting between your oar strokes while rowers from the Windsor Boys' School shout rhythm behind you. The water smells cool and weedy, and at Boveney Lock you can stop for a pint at the tiny tearoom that feels like someone's front room.

Great Park deer walk

Follow the sandy avenue south from the castle gates and within ten minutes you're among 500 fall0w deer, their white dapples flashing as they bolt across bracken. Autumn drifts of chestnut and beech smell of tannin and mushrooms, and if the wind's right you'll hear Ascot racecourse announcements drifting like distant gossip.

Theatre Royal backstage tour

This 1930s brick playhouse still uses the original rope-and-sandbag fly system. Guides let you heave a counterweight so you feel the hemp burn your palms. Under the stage you smell decades of greasepaint and trapped river damp, while the auditorium ceiling glitters with tiny star bulbs that need changing by ladder.

Castle Hill - Georgian B&Bs where you wake to the sound of marching boots and seagulls fighting over scones

Eton side - smaller rooms but river views and pubs that feel like private clubs

Oxford Road - chain hotels with bigger beds, handy for the station and Sunday football crowds

Datchet village - ten minutes by bus, half the price, ducks instead of tourists

Great Park lodges - country-house hotels where pheasants wander the car park

Dedworth Road - family guesthouses and the best Nepali curry this side of Slough